Tips For Separating Your Twins Into Separate Classes
If you’re facing the decision of whether to split your twins into separate classes at school or not, then this post is for you! I’ve been there. Hi! My name is Michelle and I’m a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner and a twin mom to 6-year-old boy/girl twins in kindergarten. Our twins were always in the same class in preschool and pre-K. We just entered a new school this year and separated our twins into different classes for the first time—and I’m here to share with you all the things we considered when making the choice to split ours and how it’s working so far for us. I know it’s a touchy subject for many parents of multiples - one that can make you worry, overthink, and question whether you’re doing the right thing. But you ultimately will need to do what feels right to you and your specific situation. By the way, I’ll be the first to say that I don’t think there is a “one size fits all” option for everyone. What works for one set of twins, may not work for another. There are pros and cons to either option!
Here are the pros and cons from my personal experience for you to consider:
Based on my own observations, discussions, and experiences, here are the 5 groups of people I would chat with prior to deciding whether to split your twins into separate classes or not:
Past teachers.
When we transitioned my twins from their previous preschool to their current elementary school, I asked their past teacher for her thoughts/recommendations. She had both my twins in the same class together for 2 years straight and was able to offer great insight. During her time with my son and daughter, she noticed our son would often get distracted by having his twin in class. It almost made him a little too comfortable, leading to him get in trouble sometimes. She strongly felt they would both learn and grow much better apart.
The principal or guidance counselor at their school.
Last year during the kindergarten readiness meeting our elementary school hosted, I went up to the principal and asked her what she and the school usually recommend to parents of multiples. She said they almost always separate twins, but that parental input was always considered, too. I really appreciate that our school allows parents to help make the decision, because not every twin set is made equally! Be sure to ask your school these questions about policy, too, so you’re fully informed.
Other parents of older twins.
I always appreciate the advice from those that came before me, especially when it comes to raising twins. Since they’ve lived the experience, I find value in hearing what worked well and what didn’t work well for them. It’s helpful to know what pitfalls to avoid and how to set up your own kids for success. When I was making the decision for my own twins, I happened to know a well-known child psychiatrist at a renowned medical institution in North Carolina that also happens to be a twin mom to teenagers. She kept her identical twins in the same class throughout school and it worked well for them. She said based on her own review of the literature, there’s just simply not enough evidence yet to support one option being better than the other. Essentially, I walked away feeling empowered that I as the parent know what’s best for my kids, and like I couldn’t go wrong either way.
Your partner.
It’s important to consider your home life, work life, your twins’ learning styles and behaviors. You are the ones that know your kids better than anyone else!
Your twins!
Since it involves them, I think it’s only fair to have a conversation about it with your twins. I remember point-blank asking my kids what they wanted. My daughter wanted to be in separate classes and my son wanted to be in the same class. Since they wanted different things, it gave me the opportunity to dive into the subject, to better understand why they gave those answers, and to help prepare them for the changes that they would soon be facing. After multiple conversations about it, my kids ultimately understood why the adults in their lives felt like it would be best to separate them.
As for how my twins are doing now that they’re finishing up their first year in separate classes? They’re doing AMAZING. They handled it so well! Truly, I think it was harder on me than it was for them. I was more worried about it all than they were! They're both incredibly happy, making friends, thriving in class, and I even think they fight less now that they’re apart. I hear stories all the time of them seeing each other in the cafeteria, on the playground, or in gym class where they run up to each other and hug. And NO, being apart in school has NOT made them grow apart. They’re still the best of friends with the sweetest twin bond. <3
Just remember, all twins are different! You may choose to do something completely opposite from another twin parent and that’s perfectly okay. Some twins may do better together, some twins may not. If you take away nothing else from this post, I just want you to know this: You have to do what’s right for YOU and YOUR family. <3
